judging me

Before I "let" you judge me I must provide you with a small bit of background information on my small but growing life. I am a forty year old woman, separated almost 2 years after 21 years of togetherness with the father of my two beautiful "young adults".

there that's it all I think you will need to know...for now

I will however not be posting my life stories in order, they will come randomly and sometimes very honestly... maybe too honestly and with profanity.

I will begin with saying it is mothers day, may 11th and my "adult children" are at their fathers place of residence this evening for a BBQ...and with that I took the opportunity to go onto my online dating account to conjure up a coffee date and within an hour I had secured my opponent for the evening.
I quickly tousled my hair threw on some warpaint and hustled out the door to the local Tim Hortons fifteen minutes early of course because if I have to explain this, you've never played the game. its all about vantage point, the seating, the lighting and who may have the upper hand. that would be me selecting the booth and sitting close enough to the window to see him pull into the parking lot and walk to the door, but not too close so he can see me.
I sit very nervously fumbling with the lid on my cheap steeped tea, which is way too hot but I'm so  engulfed with the traffic in the parking lot that I drink it anyway..stupid.
He comes in and approaches the table quickly, recognized me instantly.Wow. he mumbles "hi" and notices my tea and goes to the counter to get a  tea also?? Another tea drinker...I'm hopeful.
Turns out my hope was short lived. He goes into such details about his son and their issues so quickly. Turns out his 22 year old son is currently in rehab for cocaine abuse. Fuck come on really.
That's way to heavy a convo for a first coffee date. I mean I sympathize,  I really do....but shit..Don't lay that on me. 
God damn it he was cute as hell too...tattoos, nice teeth and a little bit of the devil in his smile...fuck. Anyway the date was short and he was gonna shake my hand at the end...but I opted for the hug...wanted to smell him..he didn't smell like anything. Weird but ok ..I left hat date felling perplexed. No second date yet. ? Lol....that's it. Dating is hell and m up to my knees in this shit!