So it seems that we all learn some life lessons the hard way, some more than others, some more humiliating than others. The hardest ones seem to hurt unbearably, right to the core. I've learned a few in my life and some have left scars.
Let's call this one Dukiebear lesson number one. I will call it that for reasons I can't ... won't get into right now.
I had been "dating" this guy,(as every great story begins).. we had chemistry and I liked him, he made me chuckle. He was covered in tattoos, which were a mixture of spiders, spider webs and east coast macho isms. The spiders representing his fear of them and the east coast and scotia stuff well I think made him feel like he was a part of somewhere. He had a odd tattoo on his neck, two words, "much love". He had a great smile and a fake tan. We gelled together great or so I thought.
He did not work, had been in a workplace accident and had his back seriously injured and was off on disability for about 4 years now. That should have been a sign. Too much time on his hands.
We went on a couple coffee dates, hung out in a pub where he sang karaoke? Seemed nice enough, kind of guy that everyone knew and liked. Another sign.
All was good we texted everyday and yes I did sleep with him if your wondering. I had known him for about a month and somehow thought it was going somewhere. Boy was I wrong.
I go out with my sister and a couple friends to see a band which I really enjoy at a bar that I have never been to. Dukiebear is there ....on a date. POP! there goes my bubble, someone stabbed it with a big old butcher knife.
Dukiebear sees me, so I decide not to approach him after all I am with my people and I really have too much class to make a scene....right? At the same time I do not leave the bar because that would make me a coward. So I endure the painful process of being in the room for the entire date....ouch. I dance and surprisingly do not drink to much because I know that would lead me to say things that would only make me desperate.
I leave with my sister at the end of the night, a little broken but OK
I do not text him.
The next night while out with my friend I receive a text message from Dukiebear, "hey babe, it was a date, that's all. you're the only one I had had sex with in 5 months"
I stare in disbelief, is it an apology?
Is it a confession?
No its a load of crap that I don't need. I never responded, mind you my lonely heart wanted to but I knew in my head I shouldn't.
"Much Love" babe.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
judging me
Before I "let" you judge me I must provide you with a small bit of background information on my small but growing life. I am a forty year old woman, separated almost 2 years after 21 years of togetherness with the father of my two beautiful "young adults".
there that's it all I think you will need to know...for now
I will however not be posting my life stories in order, they will come randomly and sometimes very honestly... maybe too honestly and with profanity.
I will begin with saying it is mothers day, may 11th and my "adult children" are at their fathers place of residence this evening for a BBQ...and with that I took the opportunity to go onto my online dating account to conjure up a coffee date and within an hour I had secured my opponent for the evening.
I quickly tousled my hair threw on some warpaint and hustled out the door to the local Tim Hortons fifteen minutes early of course because if I have to explain this, you've never played the game. its all about vantage point, the seating, the lighting and who may have the upper hand. that would be me selecting the booth and sitting close enough to the window to see him pull into the parking lot and walk to the door, but not too close so he can see me.
I sit very nervously fumbling with the lid on my cheap steeped tea, which is way too hot but I'm so engulfed with the traffic in the parking lot that I drink it anyway..stupid.
He comes in and approaches the table quickly, recognized me instantly.Wow. he mumbles "hi" and notices my tea and goes to the counter to get a tea also?? Another tea drinker...I'm hopeful.
Turns out my hope was short lived. He goes into such details about his son and their issues so quickly. Turns out his 22 year old son is currently in rehab for cocaine abuse. Fuck come on really.
That's way to heavy a convo for a first coffee date. I mean I sympathize, I really do....but shit..Don't lay that on me.
God damn it he was cute as hell too...tattoos, nice teeth and a little bit of the devil in his smile...fuck. Anyway the date was short and he was gonna shake my hand at the end...but I opted for the hug...wanted to smell him..he didn't smell like anything. Weird but ok ..I left hat date felling perplexed. No second date yet. ? Lol....that's it. Dating is hell and m up to my knees in this shit!
there that's it all I think you will need to know...for now
I will however not be posting my life stories in order, they will come randomly and sometimes very honestly... maybe too honestly and with profanity.
I will begin with saying it is mothers day, may 11th and my "adult children" are at their fathers place of residence this evening for a BBQ...and with that I took the opportunity to go onto my online dating account to conjure up a coffee date and within an hour I had secured my opponent for the evening.
I quickly tousled my hair threw on some warpaint and hustled out the door to the local Tim Hortons fifteen minutes early of course because if I have to explain this, you've never played the game. its all about vantage point, the seating, the lighting and who may have the upper hand. that would be me selecting the booth and sitting close enough to the window to see him pull into the parking lot and walk to the door, but not too close so he can see me.
I sit very nervously fumbling with the lid on my cheap steeped tea, which is way too hot but I'm so engulfed with the traffic in the parking lot that I drink it anyway..stupid.
He comes in and approaches the table quickly, recognized me instantly.Wow. he mumbles "hi" and notices my tea and goes to the counter to get a tea also?? Another tea drinker...I'm hopeful.
Turns out my hope was short lived. He goes into such details about his son and their issues so quickly. Turns out his 22 year old son is currently in rehab for cocaine abuse. Fuck come on really.
That's way to heavy a convo for a first coffee date. I mean I sympathize, I really do....but shit..Don't lay that on me.
God damn it he was cute as hell too...tattoos, nice teeth and a little bit of the devil in his smile...fuck. Anyway the date was short and he was gonna shake my hand at the end...but I opted for the hug...wanted to smell him..he didn't smell like anything. Weird but ok ..I left hat date felling perplexed. No second date yet. ? Lol....that's it. Dating is hell and m up to my knees in this shit!
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