Remi

Its a difficult thing to grasp when you're totally fooled by someone,  you play it over and over in your head looking for a sign or something that was missed.
He was moving here from another province for work. We had been texting for quite a while and it seemed like a good fit. He had lived here before and I was interested in meeting him. We had became friends on Facebook.  He commented on some of my status'. We were comfortable with each other and the conversation always remained tasteful.
He invited me to dinner on a sunday night after I got off work but the catch was he is bringing his daughter and we were "old friends". She is 14 and I said ok because I knew she was spending a month with her dad before she went back to school.
I met them at a Mexican restaurant downtown.  He was grinning very big and his daughter was very cute and polite. Dinner was a little awkward but fun. After I left he texted me and said he loved my smile and asked would I see him again?  I said sure!
He was heading back to Prince Edward Island to load some stuff up to bring back.
I was happy, finally a normal guy.....and then it happened.
I was checking facebook and Wham!  He had just posted that he was now in a relationship! Holy shit!
Of course I texted him.
"WOW" I wrote,
He tried to make some weird excuse,  that he was drunk and just  fooling around with a friend.
What ever.
I asked a couple days later why bother to meet me?
He said he didnt know what had happened,  he wanted to meet me and that he had been dating that other girl for a year?
I wished him luck.lol  I really should have wished her luck.

Fooled me..
Is still fooling her.......and brought his daughter....
 
Bye Remi.

Boondocknewfie

The very first message I ever received was from a guy calling himself "Boondocknewfie". it wasn't a great message but it was sincere and a bit funny, so I responded. It was my very first attempt at a on-line date.He was from Newfoundland and was 33 years old. He was a little husky and not very tall but still there was something about him. he had blondish red hair and a double nose piercing in one nostril which had 2 hoops. i had never seen that before. I thought it was original.
We chatting quite abit for a couple weeks before I have enough nerve to meet him for coffee. he had a strong thick Newfoundland accent. So thick sometimes I didn't know what he was saying.lol. He was very sweet and down to earth. Not working at the time but was in the union and waiting to travel to Ontario to set out a ship that would travel The Great Lakes for 3 months at a time. Also interesting as I never heard of a job like that before.
So for the next couple weeks we decided to date, he decided to close his on-line dating account. "red flag" number 1, and I did not close mine.We would go for coffee and i would go to his place which he shared with his cousin and his wife. He liked to watch hockey a lot and he loved mixed "dubstep" style music.Turns out i liked it too and still continue to listen to it now.
The turning point in our blossoming relationship was when i had called him really shaken up about something that had happened to me. I had fainted and if my friend had not caught me, I would had seriously hurt myself. freaked me out.
Pius..... yes that was his name, named after a Pope. Go figure. he laughed on the phone. I was put off, I was upset looking for comfort and that's what I got. I quickly got off the phone and went to bed. I became stand off-ish and distant with him. He became curious and a little over bearing.
"You're popular on your phone" he would say....or he would ask me to do something and i would have plans and he would question me.....


.I'm a forty year old woman, I don't answer to anyone...for anything...


goodbye Boondocknewfie.....happy sailing

Shawn P.

So I chatted on-line with this nice young guy a couple of months back and then I added him to Facebook, we stopped chatting and I never really thought too much more about it.
He would "like" some of my profile pictures once in a while but really never commented on my posts.
A couple weeks ago, yes I'm very late with this entry,  he sent me a message on facebook,  just a "hi, how ya doing?" kinda thing. We chatted some more made some small talk and then we exchanged phone numbers and texted back and forth for a few days. He was witty and shy and I was curious  about him. I creeped his facebook, yes I did and he was very tall, about 30 and was kinda chubby. OK, why not.....well the why not will come later.
He turned out to be extremely shy and it took quite an amount of coaxing but at the last minute on a Tuesday night I managed to get him to meet me for a walk down at the local Tim Hortons  (coffee shop). It was about 11 pm and I was wide awake.
When I arrived he was already parked and I jumped out of my car super excited to meet him. He was tall. 6'4" tall....wow.  He was also very shy, so we walked  and talked. Now when I am nervous I get gabby and a little loud....oops. He didn't offer much to the conversation so I assumed when we got back to the cars that i wouldn't hear from him again.
Wrong!
A couple night later we went for a drive and chatted some more, he was young but mature so what the hell.
Until I noticed on facebook that he had a little habit of "liking" this girls photos and statuses.....I only noticed because one of my former on line dates who I still remain friends with was dating her.....OMG.
The tangled web of online dating, I guess this town is smaller than I thought it was.its not a small town really but online apparently it is.
So over the next week every time she would post a picture and my friend would like it cause they were dating......Shawn P. would too. Nice! So one day I said to him, how do you know her? He met her on Plenty of Fish.... online.
I was done that's a tri-fecta I just couldn't and didn't want to be involved in......

I'm a fireman

I was home on a friday evening, doing alot of nothing. My good friend was in the city participating in a poetry reading at city hall and preceeded to text me and sa y she was finished her adventure and was going to take the ferry across the harbour. I jumped up and told her  we should grab a beer at the pub downtown called Celtic Corner.  It was a go, I dashed around and got ready anf drove downtown.
There was a nice hip but celtic band playing, she was already seated when I arrived.  I ordered a drink and we decided on nachos to spilt . Meanwhile behind my friend I could see this guy out of the corner of my eye staring in our direction. I said to my friend "do you know that guy at the bar?" She didn't so I brushed it aside.
My friend and I talked about our day, hers much more fascinating than mine, especially getting to speak at city hall and in front of a prostegious group of guests.
Again out of the corner of  my eye, I noticed the guy now up and circling the pub. Once around, twice around and wham! He slides in beside me on the bench, pressed right up against me.
I am shocked and the look on my friends face said it all. What the fuck?
I turn and say, "hi?"
He says hi and proceeds to  say that he knows me?
Aaaaaahhh I don't think so.
His breath reeks of beer. Ewe.
I say to him, "you are sitting a bit close"
He ignores the comment.
"I'm a  fireman." He says....."good for you", I say. Lol
I turn my body away from him and conyinue talking to my friend.  He is still talking. " I'm sorry,  I dont think I know you"i say......he gets a huge grin on his face. "I reconize you from POF"
I want to die, this strange man has reconized me from the online dating website I am currently on. My friend is appalled,  I'm visibly upset.
I  just star at him. I do the only thing I can think of. Lash out.
"YOU ARE SITTING WAY TO CLOSE AND GHAT CHEAP COLONGE YOU HAVE IN IS BURNING MY EYES!"
With that he gets up and walks straight out the door.
Im embarrassed,  I was harsh but I was also scared,  someone actually reconized me while I was in public. Yikes!
But the story doesnt end their, when I get home he proceeds  to message me on the site and ask for a date?
You're kidding right.
 

That can't be your real name?

He said you seem really nice, we should meet.
He seemed to have all his ducks in a row, polite and never implied anything.
He was a single full time dad of two small children which made me hesitant because my kids are older and very independent. But like I said he seemed to have it all together.
Running a successful company, a full time nanny, a Masters degree in anthropology? OK the last one was a little out there but on my quest to find a male to date and hang out with ( at this point) he seemed normal.
Notice how I keep using the word "seemed?"
He then said his name was Phoenix........I paused," that can't be your real name? "
"Yes" he said and he laughed.... " my last name is Knight."
Come the fuck on.
He was serious so I went with it. I agreed to meet him at his place because he couldn't get a babysitter or maybe because I was lonely and naive. He told me the address, it was about a 30 min. drive...up on snob hill as he described it. I knew the area, very well kept, big houses, reality new subdivision.
I drove out and parked nervously in the driveway and took a deep breath and then said "fuck it". I got out of the car and went to the front door. He greeted me almost immediately. He looked older than in his photos and seemed nervous as well. He invited me in .. now it was a very nice place on the outside but on the inside it was unkempt. He did have small children because the toys were sprawled out everywhere on the floor. There was a dog kennel in the far corner of the living room with a pitbull dog. I suddenly became uneasy. He offered me a drink. I asked for tea, he fumbled threw the cupboards anxiously as I watched him. His cupboards were somewhat bare. In one cupboard there was a bag of sugar, a stuffed bear toy, a small firetruck and what looked like a child's shirt?
 OK red flag moment,  the voice in my head was saying run.....but I wasn't fully listening because I was busy watching him.
I noticed some interesting art up on the walls in the hallway and living area. It was very good, not scenic but not quite abstract. The colors were bright, there were portraits and swirls of color threw out all of them. They looked like pictures of dreamlike states. He says,  '"I did those." I was impressed with his talent. He also had told me previously he was a published poet, which also impressed me.
The real moment of clarity came to me during our conversation about an hour later.....or as I should clarify , his conversation. He had been talking about himself the whole time, not even really looking at me? He never once asked me anything about myself or what I do or anything.
His sentences all started with "I" and the subject matter was starting to scare me.
"I lived on the streets when I was a child because I left home when I was 13. I lived in an abusive environment. I watched my mother shoot my father when I was 6 and then I was taken away from her and put into foster care. I used to have a bad drug addiction,  and I ran with the wrong crowds....ie; a reference to a well known biker gang."
I was in a bad movie......yes,  a very bad movie.
More like an after school special.
I sympathized but it was the way he was explaining it, with no emotion, no change in facial expression....he was the ideal sociopath...emotionless.
I sat listening for about another 20 mins...." oh my look at the time, its getting late."
He turned and looked at me, which scared the shit out of me to be honest and I think he could tell.
" I really have to go, I have work in the morning and its a little bit of a drive home for me."
He got up and he was a big fella. 6'2" to be exact as it stated on his on-line profile.
I sprinted for the front door, he was right behind me. I got the door open and I think I mumbled something like "it was nice to meet you" or something like that. I jumped in my car and I thinking I was pulling away from the house before he had reached the front door to close it.
FUCK!
I felt as if I had just narrowly escaped a bad murder mystery movie.
The next day I Googled him on the computer. No published poet with his name. I looked up anything I could find with anyone with that name.......he didn't exist.

burning ring of fire?

I made friends with a guitar player in a local band. He was awful sweet with a country boy persona. I was instantly attracted to him and he could sing. I was very interested.
So when he mentioned to me that his band would be playing a pub down in a town in a country setting I thought I'm going to seize the opportunity and go down and feel out the situation.
The pub was a bit rustic. ha ha. I say that loosely. it was down right hick town. There were stuffed animals everywhere from a hawk to a full size bear! There was also everything country and some things that were a little questionable. I have never been in an establishment that served alcohol with chainsaws hanging from the ceiling.
I walked in a little shocked and confused and after a few stunned moments I chose to sit in the back away from the stage so I could feel out the place. I realized after I sat down that there was a giant stuffed moose head right above me. wow. I ordered a beer from the girl working there and waited.
the place started to fill up and soon the band appeared and he saw me instantly and came over to chat.
he was very polite and looked as if he was happy to see me. He excused himself  because they were about to get started. I dashed outside for a quick smoke.
that's where shit got real.
I was standing alone outside the door puffing away on my smoke when these three women stumbled out to smoke also. Seeing that I was alone they started up a conversation with me. They were friendly and I was a little guarded, they were asking me some questions that made me uncomfortable.
" you 're not from around here? What are you doing down in this neck of the woods?"
I could tell I was in over my head with these chicks. I simply told them I was meeting someone, which wasn't a total lie..... " how do you like the band?" said the skinny chick. " they're good, I saw them before when they played in town,"I told her.
 MISTAKE.
she proceeded to tell me that she was seeing someone who played in the band for the past few months and that she was exclusive to him but he wasn't to her? That he could do what he wanted but they were in a relationship?
What? that doesn't even make sense. So I excused myself and re-entered the pub and got myself a beer.I needed one cause I knew she was seeing the guitar player and that had been a warning to me.
I sat down at a table and listened to the band play, they were great, they played a lot of country with a little bit of rock here and there. The guitar player loved to play and sing Johnny Cash songs, like "burning ring of fire," which would soon feel more like a possibility than just a song.
When they finished their set I got up and went to the bar where I got a water, I knew it was time to bail because those chicks hadn't taken their eyes off me since they came in from their smokes.
Then holy shit,  the guitar player came up to me at the bar and started chatting. I could see over his right shoulder that those chicks were stirring and pointing. damn. He proceeded to then introduced to his sister? wtf? She was really nice also and at that point those chicks were standing in a looming group behind the guitar player. I started to get uneasy. I found myself looking for all the available exits. I told my friend that I was gonna call it a night, he tried to get me to stay but I told him I just wasn't feeling it and have to go.
He leaned in and hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek. FUCK! I knew I had to get outta there. those chicks were wild. shit! 
I said goodnight and with a look of panic on my face I sprinted towards the front door like a gazelle. I'm sure it was a fantastic sight for all those who had their eyes on me. I never looked back. got into my car and drove right home.

the underground music buff

He looked different and that's what I'm beginning to understand that I may be attracted to. He had long goat like chin hairs, piercing blue eyes and those long dimples that I truly adore. He wasn't
very tall and was covered in tattoos... right up his neck. Yummy. His name was Jon and I could tell by his mannerisms he was nervous.
As we sat in the coffee shop and fumbled for words to say, I could tell this was going to be painful and I had to bring my "A" game and give it a good try.
We talked about the weather, we talked about cars? He had an old truck which he had proudly fixed up and proceeded to tell me about his skills for fixing it which was a topic I can handle being that my father was a mechanic.
Jon mentioned he knew some "people" from the area where I lived. He threw a few names at me and I recognized one, a guy named Chris. I jokingly said if you want to do a background check on me ask Chris, I've known him for about 25 years. Jon did not laugh, actually come to think of it Jon did not laugh at all during our coffee date. Sign that should have slapped me in the face.
We proceeded to talk about our kids as it became apparent that was the only thing we had in common. Our kids were roughly the same age. I spoke highly of my kids as all parents do.....unless you're Jon who had just returned from a local hospital. His son was doing a little rest there for drug addiction. Wow.
Now I'm not judging the kid, I was a kid and damn its hard. The pressures and the social media now a days. yikes! Jon suddenly looked extremely worn and old. He was a man who was broken. My heart truly goes out to any parent who struggles with a child with drug addiction. Jon basically said he had given up on his son. I don't know if I could ever give up on my child. It was defiantly mind crushing.
I tried to change the subject, "Do you have Facebook?"
Jon kinda looked at me embarrassed, I was confused. He paused and said " I do but its not what you think."  Jesus Christ com'on man spit it out.
He then goes on to tell me that he doesn't use his real name......he uses his "underground name"
WTF...SMH
I was having coffee with a guy who blogs and mixes and promotes goth and very heavy underground metal music, almost satanic. Well holy shit, should I be surprised really? He then tells me he's very well known for this in "his community"
Which way to the cult?
Just kidding, I was very interested almost like enthralled with his story, number one because I couldn't believe it was true and two because it was like an accident on the highway, you just gotta slow down and take a look....(and that's what I did a few days later after my friend found his web page. Its a dosey, that's all I can say, throw in the pictures of the goat heads and all the people on there using their "underground" names its really quite like nothing I've ever seen.)
Anyway when the unbearable silence kicked in I started to get up from the table and he walked me to my car out in the parking lot. he started to put his hand out to shake but then he said. "do I shake your hand or give you a hug?). I opted for the hug cause after that story, I needed one.LOL.
I got in my car and drove away.....I knew we would never speak again.... thank you sweet baby Jesus.